Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
