This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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