Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
