? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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