I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
