he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
