she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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