and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
