This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
