Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I wish I could punch you in the face.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
love makes seman taste better
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Randomize
