After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
My ATM looks so different sober.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
