Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
