I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
