We should be called the Road Head Warriors
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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