Non-Jews are for practice
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
