I accidentally had phone sex last night
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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