i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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