ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
