I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
What a dumb baby whore.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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