Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
