I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
