No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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