I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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