Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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