Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
