on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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