i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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