dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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