i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
