I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
