On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
i think my cat just said my name.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
