We're facebook friends in real life
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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