She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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