I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
