hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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