I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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