why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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