Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
