Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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