bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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