He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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