I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
