she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
and she was petting her beer can
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
