i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
