when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
