Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
