It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
