yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
