I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
