I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
