I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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