oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
